


I'll See You Guys Tomorrow (Last Seen: 4 Years Ago)

by Meatbike344



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: 9K of this shit is build up, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad First Sex Experience, Character Study, Childhood Friends, Fluff and Angst, I'm sorry for all the video game jargon, Idiots in Love, Lack of Communication, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Streamer AU, unnecessary angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:13:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26519575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatbike344/pseuds/Meatbike344
Summary: As far as Felix remembered, his happiest moments were of that of boyhood: sunlight flooding in from the windows, his PlayStation 2 turned on and ready, friends gathered all around him on the floor, and the boy of his dreams on the bed above---a warm breath always kissing at the back of Felix's neck.But time was a cruel mistress and the young boy would find himself stuck behind as everyone he loved slowly changed and disappeared into the realm of age.The strong back of the blonde he yearned for suddenly getting smaller and further away as his own hand on the controller slips.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 17
Kudos: 92





	I'll See You Guys Tomorrow (Last Seen: 4 Years Ago)

When did it begin?

Felix was already playing games since he was a kid—picked up one of Glenn’s old PlayStation 2 games when the older brother had moved onto a different console. He spent hours alone in front of the screen, watching images hop into life and die away the next—his eyes strained from the long hours until he passed out on the floor of his room. It was hard to understand why the boy was so fascinated with games, even more so than Glenn.

Perhaps it was a way to busy himself, keep his hands distracted. Perhaps he was simply lonely and that the characters on the screen provided more warmth than the world.

Felix would not consider himself a lonely child by any means. His father doted on him too often in place of their divorced mother, Glenn was always around to check up on him, and Sylvain and Ingrid were never too far, especially since Felix understood that he was considered the “baby” of their friend group.

And then there was Dimitri.

Blue-eyed, golden haired Dimitri who was the cause for two decades of inner turmoil for Felix since their first meeting as children. Their fathers were best friends—played a bit of “college ball” as the men kept snickering with their imported beers and plates of football wings. They left the children alone to play and went to go watch the game.

The sky was bright and full of stars and they sat outside on the wet grass with noises of a sports party blaring out from the inside. For a while, neither boys said anything to each other, staring at each other in a shared hesitance.

And then Dimitri stood up and gently took Felix’s hand. 

The other boy was overtaken by an immediate shock that paralyzed his entire body cold. His vision went white and his hearing numbed, never once acknowledging Dimitri’s question if he wanted to play some _Smash_ with him.

 _Smash_ , as it turned out, was a game on a console Dimitri’s father had gotten for his son. The Nintendo 64 with funny start-up intro that made the boy giggle when it popped up on the screen.

Felix remembered the excitement that flooded his heart when Dimitri handed him the controller, softly confessing that he never played before. Young, soft Felix who was always the on the other end to being babied by the people around him, instantly felt a sense of superiority from all of his long hours playing _Jak and Dexter_ and _Crash Bandicoot._

As expected, Dimitri was not very good at the game. He stared off at the controller and mashed buttons around without any thought to what they did. He always chosen Pikachu because he was endeared to the Pokemon’s cuteness. And he often fell to his death with a delayed reaction.

After ten consecutive wins, Felix stopped the game and waited for the expected crying.

He never really liked to play with other boys—his father tried having him bond with the neighbor kids out of worry that Felix was too lonely. Instead of expected playfulness, one could expect from boys bonding over fighting games, Felix had to endure face the ensuring tantrum of his guests afterward _._ They kept losing and Felix didn’t feel right letting them win either—a philosophy he picked up from watching Glenn play with Miklan and Christophe.

It was not so much that the boy was being cruel or stubborn, rather that this was a truth he had known his entire life therefore, the consequences for that truth left him confused. He did not want to lose, but neither did they. And for the longest time, Felix was unable to form bonds with children his age due to this lack of foresight nor any need to lessen himself.

No doubt this football party was just an ample opportunity to correct Felix’s isolated nature.

He put down the controller and waited with lowered eyes. He waited for Dimitri to sorely admit that he didn’t want to play anymore and that they should do something else. He waited for the words of pain, of rejection, of another session where he wondered what he did wrong. Another potential friend lost because Felix did not understand the situation properly nor was willing to conform.

But the scorn never came.

Instead, the blue-eyed boy touched Felix’s arm in a way that made him glow red and he looked up to see Dimitri smiling.

“Do you want to keep playing?” He asked in the most sincere way.

Felix blinked. “Aren’t you mad?”

“Why would I be mad?” Dimitri asked and tilted his head quizzically. “I’m having fun—are you having fun? Is this game boring? We could play another game. Ever tried _Banjo Kazooie_? I love _Banjo Kazooie_ —”

Dimitri kept rambling on nervously, hands drawn together as he kept listing different games for Felix to try out. And the entire time, the raven-haired boy stared off in awe, so taken back by the blonde’s reaction that he could not speak. Dimitri did not seem at all put off at all by his own loss, even impressed.

After a while, Felix blinked back into reality and gave a small, wordless nod for Dimitri to pop out the cartridge in place for a strange game of a bear and a bird. It was a single-player game and Dimitri did not protest when Felix was the one who picked up the controller and started.

It seemed like the blonde-haired boy found more joy in watching someone play, seated right on the bed with his head resting on his chin. Felix never liked it when his other friends or Glenn or even his father watched him play. He felt oppressed and internally interrogated from their eyes, and usually paused the game so they could leave, giggling shortly to themselves.

Somehow, that was different with Dimitri. In fact, Felix almost felt braver, a worshiped God in a way. Even when he failed a few times at the puzzles, Dimitri never whistled like Sylvain or hummed like Ingrid, or even did a low, pitying _aww_ like Glenn.

The boy stayed perfectly silent, still invested in the game with a childlike wonder. Sometimes, he sat back and relaxed as though he were watching a Saturday morning cartoon. It was this lax, unassuming nature that took off all pressure from Felix’s shoulders, that he did not have to prove anything to anyone.

It was okay to mess up. It was okay to win. They were both having fun.

Eventually, Felix heard the voice of his father bound down the hallway, calling out for him to head home. He and Dimitri snapped back into reality, upon how excessively dark it was outside or how tired they were. And yet, despite stressed his eyes became from the long screen time, he made no move to leave. Dimitri did not move either, though from the dark rings under his eyes and the lazy smile, it was clear that it was passed someone’s bedtime.

“I really liked playing with you,” he said sluggishly.

“Really? Even watching me?” Felix asked nervously.

The boy nodded in an eager, weary manner. “You’re so much better at this than me, Felix. I’d watch you all day.”

And then a certain emotion throbbed in Felix’s heart, a dull sensation that gradually became intense and overwhelming like water filling the lungs. His cheeks flushed red and he turned away. Down the hall, his father called for Felix again and the boy shot up so suddenly, it nearly sent Dimitri off the bed.

“I have to go,” he announced hoarsely and walked out of the room without acknowledging Dimitri. The other boy called out a prolonged goodnight but Felix kept going, afraid that if he turned around, Dimitri would see how beet red his face was or how his eyes, for the first time, actually had life to them outside of staring at a television screen.

Little did the boy know that this encounter would set off twenty years of absolute heartache.

__________

It was not long before Dimitri settled nicely in Felix’s little group of friends. His innocent, sincere nature and big blue eyes made him a natural candidate for Sylvain and Ingrid’s open affections and all the babying was split equally between him and Felix.

However, to the latter’s disappointment, Dimitri was still older than him and so, Felix kept his unwanted status as the little brother of their group of four. At first, it was just Dimitri coming after school to Felix’s house to watch him play games on the PlayStation. They tumbled into the house, backpacks flung carelessly on the bedroom floor as Felix booted up his system. They sat sprawled out on the carpet with the blinds shut to prevent the light glaring on the screen.

Glenn always came in with pizza rolls—triple cheese since that was Dimitri’s favorite, and Hi-Juice boxes; the older boy would lecture them about eating first before playing, and then made a mention about homework. Felix usually did homework first thing before he settled down for some Crash Bandicoot, but for some unexplainable reason, Dimitri inspired a sort of rush in the boy.

Of course, neither of the boys would get to their multiplication exercises until an hour before Felix’s dad came home from work—on the bed with the papers on their soft laps, careful not to piece their homework with the tips of their pencils. It was messy, it was hastily-written, and there probably were many mistakes between the both of them, but it was done.

Afterward, they went right back to staring at the screen until Dimitri’s father came to pick him up in a worn-down snow truck with the lights flooding into the house from the driveway. The boy would say a quick farewell before picking up his things and leaving.

Strangely enough, Felix stopped playing for the day whenever Dimitri left, a rarity Glenn always teased him about. He did not understand what so funny about him stopping. If Dimitri wasn’t there, what was the point of continuing?

The days continued the same way between the two until Sylvain and Ingrid wanted to join. Felix always felt nervous playing around them—Sylvain, being the older boy, had more experience and provided obnoxious commentary; Ingrid always whined about the excessive violence and even covered her eyes when some of the games featured animals beating each other up in some capacity. Somehow, Dimitri’s presence calmed both of these extreme natures and afternoon hangouts actually evolved into something Felix could consider relaxing.

Glenn continued to feed the kids though complained excessively of having to buy more Tortinos every week just for their ‘study’ party; sometimes, Sylvain would have the group take their bikes out—Felix still on his training wheels so these trips were slow and gentle, and have them ride down to the local McDonald's for chicken nuggets. It was usually a good place to finish their homework before they rode back to watch Felix’s attempt at _Metal Gear Solid_.

Perhaps it was only natural that Felix looked upon his boyhood years with a certain kindness. His childhood memories were always filled with warm afternoons; his room smelled strongly of pizza rolls, there were empty juice boxes all over the floor, half-open backpacks with math homework spilled out on the carpet. His friends were all around him—Sylvain on the floor next to him with a controller in hand whenever they were playing multiplayer. Ingrid was chomping loudly on the other side, finishing their plate of food before the boys could even grab a piece. And finally, Dimitri was on the bed, laying on his stomach as he peered over Felix’s shoulder to the television. Whenever the boy laughed, his breath tickled the back of Felix’s neck and he had to peer down in order to hide his blush.

Soft, beautiful memories drifting like leaves on a passing stream. Of course, the waters began to get rougher around high school when Felix began to fully understand the extent of his feelings, the true meaning of manhood, and the power of jealousy.

That was around the time when Dimitri got his first love confession.

__________

When they were all kids, with the exception of Sylvain who was always expected to remain taller than the rest (at least until university), Felix, Dimitri, and Ingrid were matched in height. Ingrid was not expected to outgrow the boys but didn’t seem too bothered by it, more so occupied by how the girls at the school kept staring at her long legs.

Dimitri, on the other hand, shot out like a weed. Felix returned from vacation only to find his childhood friend hovering over him by a few inches with a firm, tight body, and the face of a storybook prince.

It had been a year since they last have seen each other with Dimitri’s father taking him to visit relatives for an entire year. And he came back with a look so powerful it practically shot Felix’s weak heart. Felix always had a tough time making sense of his own feelings for Dimitri. It was...different compared to anything else he ever felt. Different from how he felt with Glenn or his father. Different from how he felt with Sylvain and Ingrid.

It was a completely different beast, one that ate at him constantly whenever he was alone and thought of those kind blue eyes or whenever he was in close proximity to the boy. These feelings intensified upon the sight of the handsome young man in front of him. He still had kindness in his eyes and a smile that lit up the room.

“I missed you, Felix,” Dimitri said and went in for a hug. His arms got bigger in the past year, taut with muscle, and the raven-haired man was smothered against his friend’s tight chest.

Felix’s heart was beating. It was always beating. It was always throbbing. It was killing him inside out like a parasite eating its way out. He remembered not being able to breathe for a minute, and not just from Dimitri’s abnormally strong hug. The young man pulled away and took something out of his backpack.

_Fallout New Vegas._

Felix was not sure how Dimitri heard that he gotten into the series or was looking for more games to play on Glenn’s hand-me-down Xbox 360, but he blushed and accepted the gift with a mutter. That afternoon, the whole gang went back to Felix’s house, still illuminated with winter afternoon light and the smell of pizza—not pizza rolls as Felix refused to demote himself to childhood foods no matter how badly he wanted to. They sat all around his bedroom just like the old years.

Dimitri’s husky breath tickled the nape of Felix’s neck. He laughed softly, the wonderful sound rumbling gently into his ears. Sylvain asked him something about homework and Dimitri spoke with a voice deeper than that of last year.

The Felix’s hands shook as a powerful realization dawned upon him. An awful one he swallowed down silently and ignored as they watched the main character get shot twice in the head.

_The game was rigged from the start._

Now, that was not very fair at all.

__________

“Did you hear that Dimitri got asked out on a date?”

It was the airship level of _Bioshock Infinite_ that frustrated Felix. The robot patriots kept landing on his airship and destroying the core, causing him to restart the damn level all over again. Sylvain watched with a laughing gaze as Felix fumbled rather aggressively with his controller.

He’s been like this all day.

He was irritated in school, dark fumes practically smoking off of the young man that made people left him alone at lunch. He was irritated in class with none of the teachers calling him up to the board. He was irritated in gym and pummeled poor Ignatz with a harsh overhead serve in volleyball. The young man was a walking nuke, pent full of boiling rage, and no one really understood why other than his off-handed excuse that he could not pass a certain level in _Bioshock Infinite._

Strangely enough, none of this anger really emerged until Felix saw Claude—the exchange student with a shit-eating grin and a calculated stare, lean over and press his lips against Dimitri’s at the lockers.

Felix dropped all of his textbooks on Lorenz’s foot and the boy groaned loudly and fell back against Ashe who was passing by in the hall, sending both of them tumbling to the ground. But Felix was not looking at the commotion right below him, or how counselor Seteth tripped over a foot and went down with them—papers flying all over the place.

But Felix was not paying attention. He kept staring at Dimitri and Claude; Dimitri slowly returning the kiss with vigor as Claude ran his hands down the boy’s hips, thumbs hooked teasingly in the loop of his jeans.

Felix’s vision slowed by ten minutes with things hovering in the air, and the whole room turned pink and red. Finally, Seteth’s papers hit the floor, Felix turned heel and stalked off to the bathroom to puke in the sink.

It was the stupid airship level. He tried beating it the night before school but kept dying—that’s what made him so angry, irritable all day even.

And Sylvain wasn’t helping.

“You know, I always though Claude had a thing for our buddy. He was so flirty and touchy with him—not that Dimitri ever minded. I still can’t believe they kissed.”

Felix lost the level again, overrun by patriots when they swarmed his airship. He stared at the same damn screen that haunted him since yesterday and felt like throwing his controller at the television. Instead he swallowed down harshly and looked away.

“Yeah, well they better take their shitty make-out sessions elsewhere. Slobbering all over each other in the hallways is disgusting,” Felix muttered darkly under his breath.

Sylvain blinked. “What are you talking about? It was only a small peck on the lips.”

“It was vile! They were basically slathering tongues all over each other!”

“Felix, it was like...a millisecond kiss,” the redhead utterly slowly. He stared at Felix with a long gaze, eyes drawn together initially in confusion before something spilled out and over into flushing realization. His mouth curled up into a laughing smile and he clasped his hands together.

“No way...are you---”

Felix started the level back up with the volume set higher and immediately jumped right into the fighting action, guns blasting loudly into the room. He kept his amber eyes tight on the screen as more enemies appeared, ignoring the long, humorous sneer his companion had given him. After the while, Sylvain sat back and watched him play, sniffing dryly.

“It’s none of our business, after all.”

“Exactly.”

“What Dimitri wants, who are we to judge?”

“Right.”

“But from what Ingrid told me,” the red head’s warm eyes riveted over to Felix. “He turned Claude down politely. It looks like they’re cool with staying friends.”

Felix hummed. Somehow, he figured out that he could cast _Return to the Sender_ all over his airship core, preventing it from blowing up as he dealt with the enemy ships around the area. After a few minutes of fighting, he was able to bypass the fighting after all.

“See? Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Sylvain teased with a short laugh.

Felix decided that he’s never playing with the redhead alone again.

__________

It was only natural for Felix to look back on his high school years with some amount of scorn. Everything he learned proved to be useless in the greater schemes of it and the only two things he took away from high school was how badly he shook he was by Dimitri, who was growing more handsome as the years went on, and his aching self-loathing that followed him all the way to university.

But there was one thing that he could not deny and it was the fact that high school shook up the entire formula of their relationship—not just between them but as a group.

Dimitri stopped coming by directly after school once he joined the soccer team. But he did stop by after practice. The boy was sweaty, dirty, hair fumbled in different directions, and generally looked like a mess.

Felix always ignored him when he stumbled in and watched the game for a bit. Neither of them said much, Felix trying to smother Dimitri’s presence with loud noises from the television and Dimitri too tired to recognize Felix’s intentional coldness.

After a minute, he went off sluggishly to take a hot shower. The water ran in the background; during these moments, Felix found himself memorized by movements not of his own and paused the game. He listened with thoughts that did not belong to him.

Dimitri’s hair, Dimitri’s soft skin, Dimitri’s lean muscle—his strong arms, his taut back, his abs, which Felix often saw whenever the boy stretched or used the end of the shirt to wipe his mouth. He imagined the hot water running down all along with Dimitri’s nude form, trailing in between the small spaces of his abs, curving down the soft inclines of his pecs, his stone shoulders. And then, further _below_.

Felix swallowed and breathed out harshly. The first time this happened, he did not know what was wrong with his body. Only that his thoughts caused his blood to travel up and down violently like rushing water and the poor boy found himself hard down there. Felix nearly dropped his controller and stared wide-eyed in horror; Dimitri was still in the shower and by the time he came out, Felix had disappeared to the upstairs bathroom.

Ever since then, he tried to limit these invasive, disgusting images that often tried to make a home in his mind. And yet, no matter how many hours he tried putting into his playing—even tried horror games just so that he could pay attention more closely, nothing worked. When he came back down from recovering privately in the bathroom, Dimitri had planted himself on Felix’s bed and fell asleep.

Felix went back to finishing a level, ignoring how softly his friend’s breathing was; Dimitri eventually rose after a nap and watched in calming silence the rest of the gameplay. He laid on his stomach with his head on the edge of the bed, breathing softly into Felix’s neck. In a way, it almost felt like their childhood all over again. Almost.

Sylvain had taken up a job at his family’s motorcycle repair shop. Since he was a kid, he helped his brother, Miklan fix up their father’s hand-me-down cars until their hands turned black from the grease. Perhaps it was in his blood to drive around such things as he often went down to the abandoned side streets and drove donuts around the lot until smoke filled the air. But it was a real passion for him, almost as much as playing games was for Felix or soccer for Dimitri.

Whenever Sylvain stopped by Felix’s house, he smelled of oil with dark stains on his ripped jeans and smiling face. Miklan’s black leather jacket was over his shoulders, the one that puffed out and made him look larger than the rest of the group. By this time, Dimitri was still asleep on the bed so Sylvain came over and planted himself down, using the boy’s body as a pillow. But he never stayed long, only an hour before he had to leave for the garage.

Sylvain worked so he could pay for a brand new motorcycle and the insurance that came with it. Felix still remembered the day the redhead got it, a pride smile of a hardworking man plastered on his stupid face. He treated it like his own child.

Ingrid, on the other hand, had spent her time at her new friend’s house, a girl named Dorothea. They had gotten friendly with each other, especially around the time they shared gym classes together. Ingrid had grown stronger, muscles all around her arms and the hard flatness of her stomach—probably from all the pole vaulting. Immediately after weight lifting, Dorothea asked if Ingrid wanted to come over. After that, Felix only saw her when she came to the house at the very last second, her neck and collar bone peppered with small bites.

Felix never said anything in fear that the girl might break his back with her strong legs. In fact, he was almost jealous that Ingrid was having so much fun with her new ‘friend’. The things they done in the loving privacy of their bedroom were things the Dimitri in his fantasies always treated him to. Sharp canines pricking the soft skin of Felix’s breast as a hot tongue lapped hungrily at his nipple; strong, powerful arms pinning Felix’s small wrists together above his head, as something hot and hard-pressed right into him.

It was a sinful dream, not one so light to be thinking of when regarding his precious childhood friend. And yet, Ingrid’s apparent happiness every day merely fueled these dreams harder as though he collected jealously from the air itself.

His high school years were filled with newer games, newer consoles, newer stories; Sylvain was smelling of vehicles expected of adults to drive. Ingrid had a lover whom she explored the pleasures of life with. And Dimitri—beautiful, cruel Dimitri with blue eyes had grown into a man’s body and a man’s scent.  
Oppressive. Sweaty. Strong.

And Felix was the one left behind, still stick with his little games and little controllers. He was not very tall, not very strong, nor was he as big as his friends. He was lean—girlish almost, with long black hair and intense eyes. But nothing was changing. And he was thinking. Thinking constantly of Dimitri’s body, Sylvain’s job, and Ingrid’s lover.

Perhaps he hated the high school years simply because it at the point where he understood that it was an unresolved year of pining for both Dimitri and the realm his friends occupied so naturally. And Felix was still left lagging behind, eyes were drawn down the screen of his Nintendo 3DS.

Children were not wanted here any longer.

__________

And at some point after graduation, Felix put down his games and disappeared somewhere far off to a university with no name. His consoles collected dust, his house felt the absence of the group, and Felix himself slowly lost the vocal memories of his friends.

Sylvain’s terribly unwanted commentary disappeared when the redhead went off to a vocational school in place of a university—to get OSHA training and open his own garage. Miklan mentioned something about street racing, but that was simply a secret between brothers.

Ingrid’s biting voice no longer occupied Felix’s mind when she and Dorothea got an apartment in the city and attended an all-women’s university there. There was talk that they were planning on eloping early though Ingrid kept denying it.

And Dimitri. His soft, breathy laughter against the back of Felix’s neck, it never truly abandoned him. Even when the handsome Adonis with golden hair and eyes of the sky packed his bags and faded away to a school overseas with a sports scholarship. Felix always knew that an amazing player like him would be snatched up eventually.

Why would he stay in such a terribly cold and small town when he could go play for bigger fish?

But Dimitri’s voice never left. He could still feel it at the back of his neck, soft and beckoning. It was warm. It was loving. And it killed Felix every day. He chose a school far away, not as far as Dimitri’s international school, but far enough where he had no reach of anyone else; he was just a stranger in an unloving land.

Ingrid and Sylvain kept texting him every now and then, but over time, the messages faltered to one sentence check-ups, both on Felix’s end and their end. It was not hard to imagine that they were too busy, probably occupied with better things than trying to get a word out of Felix other than “kk” or left on the classic _read_.

As for Dimitri, he never texted him. The young man found it better to send letters—handwritten, not typed, to Felix’s unit box. He never liked texting and always left little sticky notes around the bedroom for him to find. Just cute little encouraging messages that Felix most certainly did not keep in a small shoebox all these years and brought with him for comfort.

The misty, quiet mornings where he rose up in his bare dorm save with a few things from home—except his games—and walked down to unit boxes downstairs. Glenn who had begun work as an occupational therapist, usually stretching out wounded fighters in the MMA leagues, had always sent him boxes of foods for him to chew on—usually dried meats and pasta. Postcards came from his father along with some money transferred into Felix’s account. Felix did not need it—he took on a few jobs around campus to keep himself afloat but never complained otherwise when he saw an extra few hundred in his checking account.

The mornings where he spotted a beige envelope were when he had to drop everything he had planned for the day. Dimitri never used white—he was worried that Felix would just accidentally dump it with the rest of the junk mail that littered his unit box.

The letters were long and rambling, usually Dimitri detailing how he was, how his school was, how classes were going, soccer—trivial little things that could have easily been expressed through text. And yet, Dimitri took the time to write it all out like some kind of medieval noblemen exchanging letters of endearment. He even asked if Felix was doing well himself—fully knowing that the raven-haired man was never going to reply. It was a thing with their group—Felix was known to keep silent unless he was right in the room.

But Felix never had to worry about writing back to Dimitri. The blue-eyed golden boy just wanted to talk to him, some form of a connection while they were thousands of miles apart. Those days, Felix laid on his bed and traced his eyes over Dimitri’s soft handwriting, the way he curved up the _F’s_ and _X’s_ in his name like a precious manuscript. It was strange, really, how just the imprint alone made his heart sing. But it was the ending sentences alone that stopped his breathing altogether, a soft pleading from the other side.

_Do you still play games, Felix? I really miss the sounds. I miss you._

__________

For the first two years, Felix was undecided in his major.

He did not know what exactly he was going to college for, only that he needed to get away from his hometown. From Sylvain. From Ingrid. And especially, from Dimitri. To a university so far away and unknown, it was like he disappeared into the thin, winter air. He even spent his breaks abroad as he knew the three came home to celebrate the holidays. The first summer after his first year was even on an internship with a department professor.

And for the first two years, Felix lived alone in the disquieted space of a strange land surrounded by stranger people. It was not just that no one knew it—no one knew each other as they all came from different parts of the country. But it was the fact that Felix always made him completely inaccessibly—unreachable by anyone who was piqued by the presence of the raven-haired sullen beauty sitting at the very back of the lecture hall.

He rejected all invitations by professors for one-on-one meetings, ignored the offers by club leaders, and went straight home every day. His room, his cold and empty room, was the only place he left safe enough.

Glenn had sent him a PlayStation 4 as a gift along with some games, but Felix did not touch them. He tried to much earlier but when he held the controller in his hands, he felt the hot, gentle breath of an invisible force behind his neck. Felix turned it off and had not touched it ever since, even hiding the controller beneath the television stand.

Dimitri still wrote to him quite faithfully, even if he had not received one letter of a response in the two years. He was doing well—as expected. The young man had decided to pursue a pre-law path in the face of his sports career, was already noted by several institutions for his skills on the team, and even made nationals twice.

In truth, Felix already knew about Dimitri’s success on the team—he subscribed to a sports magazine which often chronicled the young man’s climb to fame. That’s also how he knew what Dimitri looked like since graduation. He was growing, getting taller, getting stronger, with any signs of boyishness gone in place of a sharp, brutish man with piercing blue eyes and a head of golden hair. Shots of Dimitri running around in the field, shots of him standing with his shirt pulled up to wipe the sweat from his face—stone-hard muscles glistening wet under the sun.

The boy with big blue eyes and the face of a storybook princess had become so much larger that Felix cursed how the years of puberty and manhood did Dimitri well. He sat back on the bed, staring back at the photo of his beloved childhood friend stretching out his arms over his head. Dimitri’s abs were peeking from his uniform, the shadow of an incline down his pelvis.

Felix prompted a pillow behind him and leaned back. His room was freezing. It was always freezing. But for the first time in a long time, the cool blood that flowed beneath his pale skin boiled hotly and shivered with yearning.

The man closed his eyes, breathed out the tension in his shoulders, ran his hands down his body, to the throbbing, hot cock tenting in his pants. It slipped out of the waistband, practically shivering in the cold, dry air. Dimitri’s newest photo showcased his long, taunt arms, muscles bulging out with sweat---his large hands latched together into a backstretch.

The nights where the newest issue came in, at least the ones feature Dimitri’s soccer team, a phantom emerged. Felix was not sure where he came from—perhaps the fantasies of his dreams taking life and form.

But it slipped out and over the young man in bed. A hot breath against his neck, a breathy chuckling, and something strong gripped his sides in a warm cradle.

_Look at you, getting yourself ready for me. Such a good boy._

“Yes...” Felix huffed out through his teeth as the phantom took his hand and slowly guided it to the man’s twitching cock.

_So impatient. So wanting. Tell me, beloved, what is it that you want?_

“I want you...please, I want you...”

_Show me. Show me how much you want me_

Felix gripped his length, already so wet from the excitement. The phantom was breathing down his neck, running its hands beneath the silk of his shirt, over the neck and nipples. Fingers pulled at the skin playfully and Felix arched back and groaned.

He started stroking his cock gently and a large hand wrapped itself on the other side.

_Faster, Felix. I know you’re better than this. Faster._

The young man gasped softly as the heat at the base of his balls began to flood slowly up his shaft. His movements became more erratic, more rougher—wet, slick sounds filled the room; Felix’s eyes watered and he threw his head back to catch his labored breath.

The phantom was laughing at the back of his neck, helping him stroke violently as a hand squeezed the softness of his ass.

_You’re so beautiful, Felix. Saving yourself for me. What else do you dream of? Tell me..._

“I...your big hands...” Felix choked to the empty space as his wet cock twitched purple in his hand. “Pining me down...taking me up against my bed...”

_Ah, the one at home. We used to sleep there while you played Pokemon on your Gameboy. Glenn’s room was right next door. Did you really want your brother to hear you?_

“No...” He was crying. The heat was coming too fast, too much for him. His head was spinning and the phantom was getting stronger.

_Is that what you want? That I fuck you like a beast while your poor brother is sleeping? Impaling you all the way and never stopping, even as you shed tears? Is that what you want?_

“Yes...yes!”

_Show me, Felix, show me how much you want this. Want me._

The pressure of his cock grew too much and Felix arched his back and cried out as his spent shot out onto the floor and chest. Hot liquid all over his nipples and sheets for at least five seconds before it went soft and made a small puddle right below Felix’s thighs.

He collapsed against his pillow and went white momentarily; the phantom placed invisible kisses on his cheeks and neck and disappeared with a laugh

_Felix, I love you._

Maybe it was good that Felix stopped playing games so early on. At least now, he could distinguish between reality and fantasy. And the Dimitri of his dreams was nothing short but an impostor.

__________

The year Dimitri’s letters began to shift immensely was the year Felix lost his virginity. All those dreams and fantasies of saving himself for a lost, unknown love were dashed at a department drinking party.

By the third year, Felix declared himself a psychology major after finding a few classes of abnormal psych to be more interesting than most of his schedule. Unlike other students that seemed to place themselves on a strange pedestal with dreams of therapy work and private offices, Felix did not convince himself that he needed to do something with this. He was merely interested in it, he was good with the work, and it kept him distracted. What other reason did he need?

It was also the year where he was able to pick games back up again when Glenn sent him a copy of _Bloodborne_. Dimitri’s hot breath was still wafting against his neck every time he started the up the system, but somehow, he was able to live with the presence of the phantom hiding in his room.

On his table, all of Dimitri’s letters from this year, with the newest one unopened in the middle. For a while, things continued on normally, though after three years, it was expected for Dimitri’s tone to get a little sad. Questions on why Felix never came home for breaks or even for the summer, questions on if he wanted to visit him or even if he was getting the letters since the only line of communication to prove Felix’s existence was Glenn who called him every other week.

But the letters were hardly trying to guilt him—Dimitri was rambling in his usual way and often spoke more manically as if he was trying to spill everything at once. Felix sensed slight desperation with every letter he consumed but nothing he concerned himself with. Dimitri was probably sad not to see him for so long.

The shift happened on the night of the party.

Felix was not drinking. When he told Dimitri this story again, he was not drinking—the last thing he wanted was for his loss of virginity to be equipped with classic alcohol. Or perhaps he wanted Dimitri to know that he made his choice voluntarily. Was he being spiteful?

Felix did not go to parties. Not even faculty parties. And this one was a classic house party for all of the psychology students. He did not know how he got here. The last thing he remembered was that he was trying to drop off a textbook for a classmate and now here he was—a Mike’s Hard in one hand and the said textbook in the other. Said classmate was chugging down a bottle of Svedka and Felix just dropped it on his bag lazily.

Everyone from his classes was here and more. Future therapists ready to lean over and listen to the woes of the broken, jumping to rave music and drinking as if the world was ending. Girls were cuddling, making out with each other against the walls, and some of the boys went outside to play with a drone they tied a party hat to. There was a single roomba whirling around on the floor, trying to clean an ocean of vomit, alcohol, and ripped napkins. It bumped against Felix’s foot, made a sound, and hovered away down the hall.

Felix should have left after that. He should have placed the drink down and head right out the door after dropping off the book. But instead, he lingered a bit—awkward but taking in the heavy air. And then he looked up and locked eyes with someone. Another student, not one he recognized, but how could he in a lecture hall of three hundred. But for some reason, a sense of uncanny shivered down Felix’s spine and he could not look away.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, tall and nothing but smiles. This one was not Dimitri nor looked anywhere close to him. He was skinnier, stupider, with a murkiness to his gaze—almost like milk. But something was there, enough for Felix not to bolt when the man stumbled over to him. He smiled—not the sunny way Dimitri did, but a foolish, shallow one.

“Felix, right?”

“How did you know?”

“Everyone knows you.”

This line, to this day, always confused Felix. He was always so finicky and left whenever class ended. He was not in any clubs nor did he hang out with anyone in general. How in the world was he known? Sometimes Dimitri reminded him that he was very beautiful and aloof—people like that. A shallow reason.

But Felix did not know what exactly prompted him so boldly that night. Perhaps it was the fact that he had not seen any of his friends in three years or the fact that this stupid person was the closest Felix would ever get to really touching Dimitri. Beautiful, cruel Dimitri who was so well-loved at his university, that there was no doubt in Felix’s mind that the man would go on to make the national soccer team. There was no need for him anymore. The only thing left for him was dollar store knock offs.

Despite Felix’s many nights of imagining Dimitri’s strong hands over his body, this moment was nothing like that. The knock-off Dimitri was already half-drunk with vodka wafting from his mouth. The make-out was sloppy and wet, and the man’s hands were rough—squeezing Felix’s thighs and ass in a disgusting grope. They were in the bathroom—all the rooms were claimed by people having more fun than him; Felix grunted against the sweaty body as something hard pierced his entrance and forced in.

It was painful. A sheer, scorching pain that flooded throughout his body and threatened to split in him half. The man was hardly gentle, snorting like a pig fucking in the mud, and thrust his cock in until Felix cried out. The raven-haired man bit his lips until he tasted blood and closed his eyes as knock-off Dimitri held onto his small hips and fucked him like a toy.

Felix was rocked harshly against the marble wall, thighs pinned up to his chest. He watched through watery eyes as the man grunted and pant, fat cock shoving itself in and out of his ass—wet walls dragging out slightly. The thrusts were rough and harsh, every push practically crushing Felix’s back against the wall.

Perhaps it was here that Felix realized that this pig looked nothing like Dimitri. His hair was not gold but a dirty, ugly blonde and the blue of his eyes was sickly and small. He grinned but it was predatory rather than serene. He fucked harshly and without any regard for Felix at all—he was simply using the raven-haired man’s tiny body as a fuck toy.

Drool dripped down from Felix’s mouth and his long, dark hair fell over his dull, weary eyes; there was no pleasure here. Everything stung and felt cold. His cock was soft against his stomach as knock-off Dimitri’s cock began to stab into him so violently, it exploded right into his guts. He groaned weakly and collapsed to the floor when the man pulled out of him with spent and blood dripping down Felix’s thighs.

What happened next was all a blur. Felix remembered shoving the man into the bathtub, putting on his pants, and making a mad dash for his apartment. He did not stop running, even when some care nearly ran him over on some of the intersections. When Felix finally got inside, he immediately threw himself in the shower—hot water poured down his bruised body as he began to scrub himself clean. His heart was not beating. There was nothing to beat for. And in his mind, no matter how badly he tried to imagine Dimitri being the one in the bathroom, it was simply a jigsaw piece in a space that did not fit.

Felix was no teenage girl that dreamed of the grand wedding but deep down, he always wanted his first time to be in the arms of his blue-eyed love. He wanted his first kiss to be with the handsome athlete at the locker, not a slobbering pig drunk with vodka.

Now, Felix lost sight of his own body; it slipped into degeneracy from his desperation and returned from the abyss into something soiled and broken. He wanted to forget that somewhere Dimitri was making love to someone more suitable for him. Someone probably beautiful and pure. Felix was unfamiliar, his body bent and hollowed out with ugly edges and dark holes all around. His body bobbed at the surface of an ocean like debris before settling back down on the floor.

 _Bloodborne_ was still plugged into his PS4, the imagery of old gods and blood flooding his mind. On the table, Dimitri’s unopened letter. The one that changed it all. Perhaps it was that night where both men, separated by thousands of miles, unified in their transformations.

__________

_Felix,_

_Recruiters came..._

_Made me choose between…_

_Law…_

_Teammate mad…._

_Fight...lost my…_

_I miss you._

__________

_Dimitri,_

_I love you._

_Don’t write to me ever again. Goodbye._

_Felix_

__________

It was Glenn’s fault.

After graduation in which only Felix’s brother and father were permitted to attend, with gifts from both Ingrid and Sylvain, Felix decided to pursue the school’s graduate program. Meanwhile, Glenn had shown him something that had been gaining popularity in the gaming community. Felix begrudgingly watched as the older man unveiled a website that serviced live streams of people playing games—or other things if people were willing to dish out the money.

Felix already knew about YouTube, but this was playing with hundreds of people around the world, stalking his every move like vultures. They could play for a subscription and different tiers and he could assign different people to be his moderators in the chat.

“You say that as if I will get popular,” Felix snorted and sat down on his office chair, pulling up to his PC.

Glenn only smiled knowingly and assigned himself as mod—out of pity, probably. Of course, as history noted quite infamously, the older brother had his work cut out for him.

Within a month, Felix was split between his internship at the school and the schedule he was forced to make after finding out that some crazy bastards in this world actually liked him enough to throw free money at his rent.

“You’re all fucking insane,” he muttered darkly under his breath as his screen dings with glowing purple lights flaring across his eye momentarily as he placed one of the characters on a hook in _Dead by Daylight._ The chat sends him a mixture of hearts, eggplants, and big-eyed frogs, and Felix wondered if this was as close he could get to actual love.

More purple lights and noises flash across the screen and he wondered if it was because he looked angry. Some people liked that, apparently. His commentary was hardly impressive, at least not over the top and forced like other streamers. He was always honest, even snapping at his own chat when he spotted something he disliked. Whenever someone subbed, he muttered beneath his breath that it was just a mistake with the faint touch of a blush on his face.

Glenn, who always watched his little brother’s streams, laughed and told him one evening that people genuinely like Felix’s personality, not to mention that it was endearing when he was happy.

“I’m not happy and my personality is shit,” the raven-haired man grunted while biting into a state. But his voice had more vigor than usual and he even turned away to shield his twitching smile.

It was like his childhood all over again, this outward joy for actually indulging in the things he wanted to once in a while. Not to mention that he always chose games not out of popularity but ones that he was genuinely interested in. And for a while, Felix had almost completely forgotten about Dimitri and his many unopened letters that he collected this past year.

Almost.

__________

Somewhere along the line, Felix was able to install a Nintendo emulator on his PC with Glenn’s help and the first thing he did was download _Banjo Kazooie_. He did not feel justified in dishing out the money for an Xbox One and just wanted the one game in Rare’s collection.

Felix did not know exactly why that the first game he decided to try; it was enjoyable when he played it with Dimitri as children and he begged his dad for the sequel, _Banjo Tooie_ , as well.

What he told himself and his stream in the end that he just wanted to go on a nostalgia trip with a classic, and perhaps, that was the shallow truth. The funny music, the cute little polygon models, the classic title sequence jerked Felix’s heart and for that moment, he could not breathe.

Soft, fluttering memories like a river. Dimitri’s boyish laugh against his neck, warm and nearly kissing Felix’s exposed skin. Everything was young and the sun was flooding into Dimitri’s bedroom through the window.

Someone in the chat commented: _I would have a thousand-yard-stare nut too at this game._

“Shut the fuck up, RedFox69.”

Felix sighed loudly and mentally buried away his old and bothersome memories of a love long lost as he jumped back into the warmth of his childhood. His chat continued to vibrate with life—a funny argument back and forth between Felix’s frequent sub, the RedFox69, and some new sub that did the streamer the favor of keeping the troublesome bastard at bay. GreenPegasus_02 called the Fox a _fucking simp_ and Gmoney (Mod) did absolutely nothing as the chat devoured their victim.

A collective cry of _simp_ and _fuckboi_ popped up along with more emotes, and Felix could only roll his eyes at this. He completely blamed Glenn for his lack of moderation though the older brother was much more active when confronted with some of the more sexual messages.

Then another ping. The faint glow of flashing animations and his gaze trailed away briefly from the opening cut scene to see a new sub along with a voiced donation.

( _BlueLion12 donated $500),_ the announcement system blared over the stream and continued to read out the full donated message. _I miss you._

Felix stopped the game and stared at the $500 price point as it faded into the background. The chat sped up to insane degrees as more voiced donations slipped in, but the streamer’s mind was miles away, somewhere far and distant from this earth.

 **Announcement:** ( _RedFox69 donated $5) Bad timing dude, you broke him._

**Announcement:** _(_ _GreenPeagasus_02 donated $7) shut up, you’re ruining it._

 **Chat:** _(a congealed, hot mess of viewers screaming about the $500 donation to outright calling BlueLion12 a simp—a stream of laughing emotes)_

 **Gmoney (Mod):** _Wait, is it even possible to simp after a dude? I thought it was only women._

 **RedFox69:** _Felix is like, really hot though._

“Shut the fuck up, RedFox69,” Felix groaned loudly into his hands and stayed there for a few minutes as more voiced donations came in, with much more encouragement. Finally, after a while, he looked up and spotted his top sub in the chat.

 **BlueLion12:** _I love you._

 **Gmoney (Mod):** _D, you’re at an eleven. I need you down to a three, alright buddy?_

__________

Four years apart changes a person.

Felix was not expecting Dimitri to look the same as when they left graduation. It made it even harder when he canceled his sports subscription after sending Dimitri his first and only letter. Up until that point, he had absolutely no idea what his old friend looked like. Probably just as big and just as handsome as his featuring issue last year.

Then again, Felix himself had no doubt that he changed somewhat since high school. His hair was much shorter than his boyhood years, having cut it after he got into grad school. Unlike the rest of his friends, he did not gain any substantial muscle and remained just as slender as before.

The greatest curse, however, was his height. The young man hardly grew an inch. At all. Even Glenn pointed out only to receive a sharp kick to the shins. Perhaps Felix hardly changed at all. Of course, the thought of it pained him when thinking of Sylvain, Ingrid, and Dimitri.

Around 2:00 am, Felix was woken up by a harsh, beating knock. He jolted up from the couch after streaming for 12 hours straight during a charity run. His living room was cast in cold, dim darkness with police sirens going off in the distance. Felix rubbed his eyes clear of muck, rising to meet the ominous, echoing sounds of a hand knocking at his door.

2:00 am. Who could possibly be disrupting him at 2:00 am? 2:00 am here was witching hours: characters of misfortune and ill intent prowling the streets. Or local sports fans piling out of the bars. Either way, no one like that should be knocking on his door at this time. Not even his own family as they always notified Felix beforehand.

The young man slowly crept up as the knocks got louder—more desperate; he rolled out a bat he hid underneath his couch in case. The area Felix lived in was not normally so chaotic enough for him to carry around any substantial weaponry like a gun, but his apartment was cheap and the neighborhoods were not exactly crime-free. Felix approached the door with the lightness of a cat, trying his best to smother the nervous steps of his own feet. Knocks kept coming—rather persistently with no signs that they were leaving any time soon.

Felix leaned into the door and peered out through the hole. The hallway was completely dark save for the moonlight illuminating in from the windows at the very end of the floor. The overhead lights went out after a particularly terrible thunderstorm and they haven’t been fixed yet, not until next week. As such, Felix only saw a menacing, oppressive darkness out his door.

But there was movement. Someone—something was standing at his door. Waiting. It knocked again, the strength of its hands shaking the door with strength. It was not leaving.

Felix’s heart pounded against his chest and he took a minute to breathe out softly through his nose and out his mouth.

“Who is it?” He finally called out but his voice shook slightly, threatening to collapse.

A minute of silence, just the air whistling back to him from on the other side of the door. His late-night visitor physically hesitating on the other side, with the creaks of floorboards beneath their feet. Eventually, there was a shuddering, deep breath and something knocked against the door—staying there in hesitation.

“Whoever you are, leave me alone—”

“Felix, it’s me.”

The raven-haired man paused and stepped back from the door. Who was me? Me could be anyone. But what took Felix off guard so quickly was the unfamiliarity of the voice. It was deep, it was growling, and it was so far away that it came off as merely an echo—a rock dropped on the ground and the noise merely rebounding off the walls. It scared Felix.

“Who are you? I’ll call the cops if you try anything funny with me,” he warned to the dark stranger.

Another pause, another emptiness.

And then the name of unwanted homecoming.

“Dimitri.”

Felix burst out in sardonic laughter without realizing it. His body shook against the door frame and he wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes.

“Liar,” he snapped through his pained smile. “Who are you, really?”

“Seriously, Felix, it’s me.”

“That’s impossible. Dimitri does not know where I live. Who sent you? Was it Glenn? Is this some trap?”

“I swear…”

Felix arched a brow; the stranger almost sounded...exasperated, frustrated even. He stood and stared at the door, a million different things bouncing off his mind at once. And then, he turned away nervously, tucking the bat behind his back. The eyes of a stranger boring through the wood and right at him.

“If you’re really Dimitri, what was the first game we played when we were kids?”

“Smash—ten rounds on the Nintendo 64.”

His hand moved automatically as if activated by a keyword uttered by a programmer. Felix took off the locks of his door, even disregarding the chain, and threw the thing wide open. The soft light from his apartment illuminated the small space in front of his door, bringing light on the stranger right outside.

Four years was enough to change a person; for Felix, the changes were subtle and slow but were present. In how he spoke, in how he carried himself. His hair was long and his eyes were much softer, perhaps mourning the loss of passion. But Felix had the fortune of preserving himself for so long.

The man in front of him was a stranger.

Tall—towering even, with his head near the top of the doorway; his large, muscular frame was outlined faintly from the black thermal shirt he wore, covered by a long fur overcoat. His face was wolfish and sharp, lacking in any softness. But what made paralyzed Felix was the cold gleam of a single blue eye, peering out to him from the darkness. The other eye was covered with a medical eye patch.

Felix and the wolfman stared at each other for what felt like an eternity – Felix’s mouth dry and without the arsenal of his biting words. His bat had dropped and rolled back into the apartment. It was just him, empty-handed, defenseless, peering up at a man who claimed to bear the name of his long lost love.

He was tall, taller than Dimitri would have ever been, though Felix had always forgotten that the boy was a late bloomer. The man was sharp with hard edges and a harder gaze like the glare of a steel knife. And his presence did not promote any sense of serenity, not like the old dog years of Felix’s bedroom. Instead, Felix felt strangely cold as though someone opened the door to a winter night.

A large gloved hand stretched out from the darkness and passed over into the realm of light; black leather fingers without warmth touched the ends of Felix’s hair which he let loose down his shoulders. The stranger smiled, white fangs probing from the corners of thin lips outstretched—Felix’s heart raced with the signs of home.

“You have grown beautiful,” Dimitri-not-Dimitri muttered lowly like a whisper. He closed his one eye and took in a scent methodically.

Felix did not move. He merely stared at the man on the other side of the doorway, breathing slowly towards his very gentle and soft death. Finally, he brought his own hand up and wrapped out the strong wrist, feeling the utterly slow beat of a human’s blood pulsing beneath.

“You are…” he blinked. “I can’t even recognize you…”

“Four years is a long time. But you have not changed much—still as beautiful and intense as the day you left,” Dimitri hummed mildly.

“How did you find me?”

“I begged Glenn. Do not blame him—I wore him down after half a year.”

“And the twitch stream…”

“I apologize. That was rather unnerving, wasn’t it? I am not very equipped with gaming these days, not like you. But I wanted to express...express my feelings to you.”

“And your feelings are $500 worth?”

Dimitri’s one eye blinked as if he woke up from a long sleep. “Do you want more? I have more money.”

There he was. Perhaps not in the form Felix was expecting, but nonetheless, there was some semblance to the boy he grew up with. He feared that both the four years and the horrifying incidents of their junior year would have utterly changed him for the worse. In reality, the heart that beats in this stranger’s body was all and the same.

Felix’s expression softened and he stepped back from the doorway. “No, I don’t need more money. Do you want to come in?”

Dimitri nodded slowly. “I missed you.”

“I know.” He turned away. “I missed you too.”

__________

“I have to ask—why law? You realized that you could have just stayed on the team and made more money and fame that way.”

“That is quite true. My coach even tried to convince me of the same thing. But I did not want money and fame—I wanted to be happy.”

“Law makes you happy? You want to be a lawyer?”

“It is all fascinating, really. I would tell you everything but we would be here forever.”

“I don’t mind.”

…

“I really missed you.”

“I missed you too. Why did you not come over at all during these years? We were all waiting for you.”

“I was...I was afraid. Afraid of seeing you again.”

“Why?”

“Why? Are you really asking me why?”

...

“I loved you for so long and all these stupid sports magazines capturing your stupid face just made me nervous. I didn’t want to see you because it would just fucking hurt.”

“You...you actually followed my career?”

“For only three years and then I dropped the whole thing. Do you still have it? My letter?”

A nod and a bare hand slinked up and cupped a sweaty, handsome face.

“I have all of your sappy writings. Stupid bastard, why did you keep sending me some after I asked you to stop.”

“They were replies—of my love. You didn’t open any of them, did you?”

“Obviously, no. And yet you decided to throw me half a grand and then show up to my door unannounced. You’re just one big old stalker aren’t you?”

“I loved you—since we were children. I was also afraid of saying something...I didn’t want to lose our friendship.”

“Even back in high school?”

“You were so beautiful in high school. I really missed just sleeping in your bed, listening to your TV. I missed everything—don’t you?”

“The past doesn’t matter anymore.”

“But do you ever think about it?”

“...sometimes.”

A gentle, bemused hum. Soft, possessive lips pressed hungrily against the bruised skin of a pale neck. Someone gasped and tried to get away, only to find themselves captured in a strong pair of arms.

“You haven’t changed.”

“You changed. God, I can’t believe you let that bastard take out your eye.”

“We were close to nationals. I suppose my timing was bad.”

“Are you blaming yourself?”

...

“You know, you’re practically a stranger to me. Four years apart doesn’t exactly mean we can go back to the way things used to be.”

“Can you really say that while we’re lying here?”

“No, definitely, not.” A pause. “I never expected to be exercising this early in the morning. I have a class at eight.”

“I’ll make you coffee.”

“Your coffee? Back in high school, you just drank from the damn maker, you boar.”

“And you wanted half a gallon of cream in yours. Did that still change?”

“God no, pour all the cream in there.”

A large strong hand slithered down between the bitten thighs and squeezed a swelled ass cheek.

“I already did.”

A snort. “I cannot believe you just made a sex joke. You’re so fucking canceled—get out of my apartment.”

A laugh, a sunny laugh from years yonder. “I miss you, Felix.”

“I miss you too, Dimitri.”

“I hope this will be the last time I am saying it. Please don’t hide away from me again—I don’t know how much more I can take it.”

“You won’t take it? You had no idea how lonely I was in this stupid city.”

“You chose to stay here.”

“I know, I know.”

...

“Felix.”

“What?”

“We have a lot of catching up to do.”

“I know.” Strong fingers latching onto each other tightly, afraid to let go. A breath against a neck, warm and loving.

Felix grinned.

“We have lots of time, Dimitri. Let’s take it slow.”

__________

 **RedFox69:** _whoa, BlueLion12, you became a mod??? How???_

 **BlueLion12 (Mod):** _Felix is really nice ;)_

 **RedFox69** : _If i donate $500, can I become a mod?_

 **Gmoney (Mod)** : _You have to do a lot more than that..._

 **RedFox69:** _?????_

 **GreenPegasus_002:** _You’re so dense sometimes_

 **Announcement:** _(McRiegan420 donated $10) Hey pretty boy, I just want to say that I love your stream, by the way, who was that nice piece of ass coming out of your bathroom?_

 **RedFox69:** _wait that ass looks familiar...hold up, I need to call someone._

 **GreenPeagasus_002:** _Fox, no!_

“Damn it, Dimitri! I told you to put your phone on silent!”

**Gmoney (Mod):** _Y’all are on thin ice at the moment. I’m ready with the ban button._

 **RedFox69:** _So if I clap cheeks with Felix, can I get on the mod team?_

*RedFox69 was banned from the stream*

**Author's Note:**

> This AU was seriously the result of a conversation I had with a twitter buddy. No joke. Just...one conversation. I hate my impulses. Enjoy kids. I'll be updating Garreg Mach and then moving onto more dark fairy tales.
> 
> Come hang with me at my [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/Meatbike344) if you want to chat


End file.
